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There's Light Eventually

Week two of being back! Can I just say… It feels good to be getting back into the swing of things. I’m certainly not back to accomplishing the same amount of tasks. The number of interruptions have certainly increased. With a 3 month old - Wow! Is he that old already?! - one is pretty much on call as a mother.

But, as I sit here writing to you, I am eternally grateful for my children and this opportunity to write to you now.

I have thought about what to write today, and for some reason I cannot remember what it was - ah, yes! That’s what it was! See, this is why I should whip out my phone and make a note of it when I think of it. But, there is always so much to do on that phone that I’m always afraid that I’m going to forget it anyway or make the note and continue to do things that don’t need to be done right then and forget was I was doing with the house or children. Wife and mother struggles… eh?

Well, anyways… I remember what I was going to talk about today. It goes along the lines of bitterness. I have been married for three years now. <3 But my dating years - yes, years - and engagement months were the most stressful and hardest period of my life. Well, then I was pregnant right away and so sick from the get-go that I was sure that my dear husband would be through with me in short order. Not only was I sick, but then I got “fat.” Very, very “fat. Being pregnant is not fat, ladies. But, when you are so SO tired and emotional because your first year went nothing like you planned, you start to believe silly notions that are entirely false.

My husband and I came out of that year still very much in love and grew so much in God together. My baby girl was born healthy, but we still had hardships coming. My birth didn’t happen anything like I planned. Twelve hours of labor ended in a C-section, and I had been so stressed that my milk refused to come in. So I was stressed about that which hurts production even more.

Finally, my milk comes in about a month of working at it, so one small victory. Well, my apartment vent poured smoke in from the other heavy smokers’ apartments, so me and my baby were forced to leave when it began to save her little lungs. Those were the final two months of living in the apartment.

Then we were practically given a house to renovate to move into. Blessing, but because our apartment contract was up - and we certainly didn’t want to continue living there, we lived out of boxes in another home temporarily while we renovated our new house - all while I was nursing my baby. This equaled a lot of trips to my mother’s (who thankfully lived close) and helping delegate work at our house. This lasted for two/three months before we were finally about to move into our new home. We moved twice in a matter of four months or so. It was a whirl-wind second year of marriage. Our third year was the best so far! Even with getting pregnant again and dealing with crippling morning sickness, my daughter experiencing a seizure (I still have night- and day-mares about that), and she and my husband taking turns getting sick. I was nursemaid from then until I had my baby. Then it was my turn to be taken care of. ;) Another c-section later, and we have our perfect little boy. <3

And that brings me to the present. See, I’m human like everyone else. I may love my life, but I have endured hardships like everyone else. There is so much more that I will not share on here and so much more I probably could share on here, but for sake of time and falling too negative I won’t.

God reminded me last night in church that I was to, “Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.” (Isaiah 43:18) My past is in the past. I need to leave it there and to shut down any thoughts that try to rehash it. I have forgiven in my heart those people that have done wrong to me during those hard years of my life, and I have begun to rebuild those relationships and even begin new ones. God has been so good to me and my husband during those years even through the trials.

God wants me to move on and stop looking back. He wants me looking forward, ready to receive His future blessings that He has in store for me. I am given reassurance of this in the very next verse, “Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.” (v. 19)

Monday Motivation: Look past the hardships to the bright future that God has for you. God is there with you - lean on Him through it all. The hardship will end eventually, and then He will show you all the great things that He has to bless you with - better than you could even have imagined!

Happy Monday, everyone!

Stay tuned for more information on the Serum Revelation, the finale of the Serum Trilogy and also about the guest blogger I have invited to introduce herself to you all.

You guys are great, and God loves every one of you! My prayer is that you see just how much and enjoy such a great and intimate relationship with the Saviour that I do and more! <3

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